Love

I love You

Johnny was a peculiar guy
Brough up on love and the reasons why
but the reasons why ought not to be said
and so I'm left hands held to my head

I love you
I love you
I love you

It's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful thing
It's a beautiful, beautiful thing

Chances, changes are all that you have
As you take the hard stuff and lie on your back
The smoothness, strangeness
Fits like a glove
But the comfort of tease
Still rises above

I love you
I love you
I love you

But is it possible, possible, possible babe?
Is it possible for you and me?

Gold and waves and Betty Blue
Are the images that lead to the clues of why
I can't love you
I can't love you
I can't love you
It isn't possible

Tanita Tikaram, vocals
Rory McFarlane, bass guitar
Mitch Dalton, guitar

................................................

Tanita Tikaram is one of my favorite singers, her voice delivering spellbound lyrics, making me sad and happy at the same time.

Never thought I would be tired of loving, but I am. Am tired of reaching out, treating people the way I expect them to treat me back only to realize that they don't give a damn, or even worse, take advantage of your "weakness". Time has brushed up the soft edges now, my heart has grown harder. I regret this a lot and it makes me sad. I have always believed that loving should be easy, not filled with complications and doubts. Somehow that is however the way it always turns out, just as if you were a jumper that you constantly wondered whether the colour was right for you, or maybe it might just not be in fashion the next season. I have to admit, I am sometimes like that too...but if I can pat myself on the shoulder, in these cases I very seldom go into the relationship in the first place and if I do, I break up when I realize that the relationship is not going anywhere.

It is funny though, I must admit, how fast you get over someone that has hurt you. If you just decide that it is the right thing to do, that he does not deserve moaning about and your tears. When there is no point and you have made yourself realize that in every sense of the way (not just superficially) you can block out the black thoughts a lot easier and move on, towards a happier day and a new chance.

Next time, I will however stick with the rules of Tracy Chapman that I have always said that I would follow, but that I have always broken.

This time
I won't show I'm vulnerable
This time
I won't give in first
This time
I will hold out with my love
This time
I will not be hurt
I'm gonna love myself
More than anyone else
I'm gonna treat me right
I'm gonna make you say
That you love me first
And you'll be the one with the most to lose tonight
This time
This time
I won't let my emotions rule my life
This time
I'm gonna keep my heart locked safe inside
This time
I'm gonna be my own best friend
This time
I'm gonna be the one
To win
Your love
Your affection
To hide
My fear
Of rejection
This time